JEWISH SINGLES WEEKEND RE-LIVED

You can't make up what I'm about to share--

We're going back to the early part of the decade. In the poconos, the New Jersey Y Camps held mini-vacations on both Memorial Day and Labor Day weekends. Roughing it in the woods. Unlike the Catskills, where men and women wore their best oufits at dinner. More scaled-down. Shorts and t-shirts. Also,  this is before the internet allowed people to hide behind firewalls and engage in virtual socializing.

At this weekend of about fifty singles, on the next to last night, people were congregating in the dining hall, playing cards and schmoozing.  Next to me was a nice man named Moishe, a real mensch, who helped me carry my bags to and from the car. In addition, he was fascinated with my juice extractor--both the machine itself and the fact I had schlepped it some ninety miles.

 At another table, I saw a man in his 40's looking like Rip van Winkle,, who appeared to be counseling a young man in his 20's. Later I asked the young dude what was up. He said that Rip was trying to recruit him for.....are you ready for this?......Jews For Jesus.

I say nothing. I'm in shock. Recruitment for...Jews... For... Jesus?...at 1:00AM...at a Jewish Singles weekend...?...in the poconos......... somebody pinch me. I say nothing. I'll pass it off as an hallucination.

The next night, the final night, same scenario. I'm at the table next to Moishe, we're spectators to a card game. Off in the corner, is the Rip van Recruiter with his materials, only now he's got an audience of four. He's multiplying. My conscience is gnawing.  I look at Moishe,yarmulka and all.  I can't resist. For the record, I am motivated by both fiduciary duty and mischief. I decide to snitch.

Me: Moishe, you see that guy over in the corner? You're going to think I'm crazy, but he's Jews For Jesus. He's laying his rap on that kid.
Moishe: Get out of here! No way!
Me: Yes way. He's got materials, I saw them. I kid you not.

Well, to put it mildly,Moishe goes nuts. He immediately recruits me as his lead investigator. He wants to know Rip's name, rank, serial number, the name of the mohel who performed at his briss, etc. (ok, maybe not all of that, but you get the picture).

Now, at our table is another nice man named David, who bears a striking resemblence to Jerry Garcia. David served in the Israeli army. Wouldn't know it. Very laid back guy. Moishe lets him in on what's up.

David calls Rip into the kitchen. Now, I'm not expecting violence but nevertheless am curious. I join them.

David tells Rip on no uncertain terms, that what he's doing "isn't very nice", and then  states, "do you know what you are? You are a verbal ham-and-cheese sandwich",  a line which reduces me to a usless blubbering hulk the remainder of the weekend. Rip, meanwhile, rebutts David, standing on his first amendment privilege. We head back to our bunks well past midnight. No casualties.

On the front porch of my bunk, sprawled out in a lounge chair,  is my roommate, whose capacity for alcohol is oceanic. He says to me, "what's with you"? I plead ignorance. He replies, "I hear you're attending Jews for Jesus meetings. I just checked the schedule and I don't see it listed." 

I need to get home. And my roomate needs AA.

The next morning, we pack and go our seperate ways. But the story's not over!

FLASH AHEAD 8 MONTHS LATER.....

Memorial Day weekend. Back in the poconos. First day. I see David, our good Israeli soldier in the dining hall. He seems disturbed. He's pacing back and forth, seems he's muttering some expletives under his breath, totally out-of-character for him.

I approach him, tell him it's good to see him, hope he had a nice winter, etc.

Me: Dave, what's wrong, man? You seem upset. Did you see that Jesus head-hunter again? Don't tell me he came back after you confronted him.
David: It's worse.
Me: What do you mean?
David: He's my roommate

Now I'm really fighting for self-control. And I manage to get it, until David continues...

"He's really not a bad guy. I just wish he'd stop 'jesus-ing' everybody"

I have to excuse myself. I spend most of the weekend walking around like a giggling idiot.

Bring back the good 'ole days!

A.-

BEANS RE-VISITED--A TRUE HEALTH FOOD, DESPITE THE PUNDITS

The poor, lowly, peasant food, the bean,  is like the "Rodney Dangerfield" of foods.  It gets no respect.

And I don’t understand why.  Ever hear the expression, “if you tell a lie long enough, it will stick”?  That appears to be the case with legumes. Meanwhile, people will over-indulge in the worst food combinations possible, produce flatulence (sorry if you’re eating) that will result in evacuation in their homes, and yet these foods get a pass (no pun intended)

FACT: Beans, when prepared, combined and chewed well, are easily digestible, going through the entire gastro-intestinal tract in much less time than animal protein. (ciatition needed).

FACT: Beans are a GODSEND  for regulating blood sugar levels, a long-chain polysaccharide accompanied by a high amount of dietary fiber.

This statement needs clarity.  The problem is, due to the nutrition facts required  on  labels, people will look at a can of beans,see 40 grams of carbs, then avoid it like the plague.

Truth be told, and this is one of my few original observations—fiber is the rev-limiter on carbs.  Let me explain---years ago, when  the Acura division of Honda debuted its Integra automoibile, I was one of the first to buy.  The small engine had a red-line of 7,000rpm. And you had to rev it close to red-line it to get any power out of it.And I was concerned I could over-rev the engine. Turns out my concerns were unnecessary.  Because there was a rev-limiter built in. The engine would turn-off near the red-line

So what does this have to do with beans?  Fiber slows the absorption of sugars, lowering the glycemic index of the food (past footnote). And high fiber will cut body fat  (see book: Body Rx  by Dr. Scott Connelly).                       


KEYS TO ENJOYING BEANS—GAS-FREE

1.       For canned beans, place in large bowl, fill and rinse, repeat until the foam is non-existent

2.       For dried beans, soak, then rinse water until foam is non-existent.

BEST FOOD COMBINATIONS

1.  For dried beans, cook with diced root vegetables: carrots, onion, turnips, rutabaga.

2.  For meals, beans combine best with: grains, vegetables, soyfoods (tofu, tempeh), and  other  legumes and seeds.
3. Add a 3" strip of kombu sea vegetable--releases alkaline-forming minerals.
4. For larger beans such as chickpeas and black soybeans, the use of a pressure cooker will result in a tender bean, easy to digest.

WORST FOOD COMBINATIONS

1. Beans do not digest well with: flesh foods or raw fruit  While beans are often served with fish, it's a bad combination. I'll save you the labored detail

2. Beans and dairy--another invitation to flatulence.  In place of that dollop of sour cream on top of your black bean soup, try a mock version made from tofu.

OTHER SUGGESTIONS

Chew, chew, and then some! Beans must be masticated until liquified in the mouth.

Purees are not recommended because it replaces the chewing process. Leave at least 50% of the beans whole.


MARRYING THE BEAN WITH RIGHT SPICE


One of the most inaccurate pieces circulating in the nutrition world is the indictment of spicy foods.
FACT: spices are digestive aids The culprit is the fatty foods it's added to. Furthermore, the science supports the health benefits of curcumin, curries, ginger and other spices, from home remedies to anti-inflammatory properties.


Here are some optimal bean/spice combinations


BEAN                                                                 COMBINE WITH


white beans (lima, navy)                            dill
black bean                                                        cumin
lentil                                                                    cilantro
red beans                                                           chili
split pea                                                             curry


VARIETY


So, you browse the isles in the store and see the same old, same old...black beans, red kidney, pinto, chickpea, etc.

How about these: black garbanzos, swedish brown, black  beluga lentil, anasazi, mung, butterscotch calypso, giant peruvian lima , green flageolet,  and more!

So, go get some! Cool beans!

TAX SEASON OVER! KRAMDEN AND UNGER WENT THROUGH IT, TOO

Don't know your tax situation, none of my business. But I'll tell you, two of the funniest sit-coms to deal with this subject were both The Honeymooners and The Odd Couple.

In the Honeymooners episode, "The Worry Wart" (April 7, 1956), Ralph receives a letter from what then was called the Bureau of Internal Revenue. He believes he's getting a refund. No check inside, but a letter telling him to report to their office.
This happens during dinner, and he can't sit still. Meanwhile, Norton, his slim friend with the voluminous appetite, oblivious to Ralph's stress, keeps ordering Ralph to the fridge for various condiments ---ketchup, piccallilii chow-chow. But it's the request for bread that causes Ralph to blow a gasket.


Ralph compounds his worries by having Norton assist him in his tax audit defense.. Things immediately get off on the wrong foot when Norton, checking Ralph's return for accuracy, mistakes Ralph's social security # as either a dollar amount or Ralph's weight. And although Ralph tosses Norton out of his flat for the umpteenth time for his ludicrous summation ("stand on the 18th amendment-tell them you were drunk when you did your taxes"), Ralph nevertheless accepts Nortons' offer to accompany him down to the tax office. And although Norton, as only he can do, nearly indicts Ralph ("he's Kramden, I'm clean"), it all works out in the end.
For the few who have actually not viewed these twenty-four minutes of hilarity, the ending at the IRS office is priceless (just remember in your own life, when in a bad situation, to remain "calm and cool").

Now, almost 20 years later, The Odd Couple tries its hand at tax comedy ("The Ides of April", 4-19-73).  By 1973, the Bureau has changed its name to the IRS.

Felix, too, gets a letter of what he believes is an office audit. Upon arriving there, before verifying  the nature of the inquiry, he erupts in a diatribe of the injustice of being called down. He then elaborates about the great accuracy of his returns and the pains  he goes through. And how does the IRS have the gall to audit him, when they should be "auditing people like his roomate, Oscar Madison, who 'doesn't care what figures he puts down on his return'."

Turns out, like Kramden before him, Felix was not in any kind of trouble. To the contrary, the IRS was so impressed with his flawlessly neat, tidy and accurate returns, that they longed to meet the man behind the pencil. The supervisor bellows, "everyone get out here, Mr. Unger is here!". To show their appreciation, the entire office gives him a standing ovation. It is then the character of Felix Unger utters one of the corniest lines ever, that only he could say: "many happy returns!".

However, before he gets out the door, the supervisor then inquires for the name of the man who Felix said, "puts down any amount on his tax return". Felix pleads amnesia but to no avail--("get me the file on Oscar Madison".)  Felix then returns home to break the news to Oscar how he inadvertently  ratted him out.


Like Norton to Kramden, Felix offers his tax preparaion services to Oscar, whose plan is to "just go down there and beg for mercy". Fortunately for Oscar, Felix is much more competent than Norton. And the ending of this episode is classic.

TIP-TRONIC TRANSMISSION

Wanted to get this off my chest for a brief---

Walking past sports sedans or coupes, take a peek inside, see a leather shift boot and a knob, resembling a manual transmission...
Then, closer scrutiny reveals, on the side of the boot,the letters R-D1,N, etc.

It's an automatic transmission! "Tip-tronic"? Shift with it?...NOT! Marketing hype.

If you don't depress a clutch pedal, deep-six that boot and knob.

And to actually own a car with a sport suspension and put on that facade...

This should be outlawed.

SMART PHONES AND TOILET PAPER--RUNNING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS

Was inspecting a roll of bathroom tissue (not during use, in case you're eating), and noticed a perceptible shrinkage. It's definitely narrower, reminding me of a thong strap

So, I tore off one of the perforated sheets and measured.

Surely enough, the sheet size that used to be a 4.5" square back in the days (I used to sell the stuff, no need to provide fact-checking link here) is now...

4.1" x 3.7"

Which leads to the question:

Has the human anatomy changed? From my personal observation, yes, but not for the lesser.  I mean, why are there now terms like, "getto-booty", "ba-DOONK-a-DOONK", and, of course "phatty-banger".

____________________________________________________

Now, on the other hand, I've noticed that the size of the screen on the latest cell phones has increased. From less than 2", to now either 3.7" or 4.3".  And that doesn't take into account these new tablets (oops--calls can't be made on tablets, can they?)

Hence, the cell phone screen has out-sourced  out-sized a sheet of toilet paper.  Paper-makers, you're getting wiped out.

RAIN (NOT THE MUSICAL ABOUT THE BEATLES)

Wind-proof umbrella, where r u?

So,  a decade into the 21^st century, we have:

·         Cell-phones that can be used as a credit card

·         Get voice directions on a gps device

·         Watch television in our cars

·         Apps, Apps and more apps

·         Shoot a laser beam from a mile away and record a person’s blood pressure

But… we can’t make a wind-proof umbrella that fits inside my briefcase?

Yeah, I know, the golf-sized ones are windproof.

But I don’t feel like carrying around a spear—too much drama---poking people on the subway, not to mention the inclination to lose it somewhere…..

TO: HFCS. FROM: WHITE SUGAR. RE: THANKS

Dear High Fructose Corn Syrup:

Thanks for making me a rock star again.  Let me explain:

When William Dufty, the author of Sugar Blues, published his book in 1975, with the support of his wife, film star Gloria Swanson, you hurt me. Badly.

But now, you've put me back in the mainstream.  Products sweetened with me are now being promoted as healthful.  Where should we send the check?

CLASSIC MUSIC REVISTED--SINATRA-JOBIM

1967--British invasion taking up major radio airplay, Count Basie records an LP entirely of Beatles and James Bond music. Sinatra is recognizing the change to a certain extent, having Don Costa arrange Petula Clark songs (is this what drove Costa to start sniffing?).

But this is a GEM. He completely changed his style, not unlike when switching from Columbia to Capitol in the 50's. It just WORKS. Even Berlin's "Change Parners" is great. And, of course, arrangements by Claus Ogerman, who went on to arrange "This Masquerade" for George Benson a decade later. And Claus is still here as of this writing, working with Diana Krall.

The only downpoint: the LP times in under 40 mintues. But the remedy is to invest in the complete Jobim compilation, which includes "Desifinado"--was wondering for years how he would interpret it, heard the rumors it was recorded but sat in a vault for decades.

One last point: Bossa had been around for some years, covered by the great jazz artists (Stan Getz, for example), Quincy Jones covered it. Some bossa nova renditions got loud, disruptive and obnoxious as unknowns jumped on the bandwagon. This is what makes this recording so special, it plays to the subtle quality of bossa nova. Priceless and precious. Bravo.

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ISRAEL DRESNER--EYE-OPENING QUOTE

In this month's New Jersey Monthly, there's a profile of Rabbi Dresner, one of the original  freedom riders from the civil rights movement of the turbulent 1960's.

Besides this man's bravery, one quote really stood out.  He reminisced about his meetings with Dr. Martin Luther King.  He stated,"not all great people are nice privately. Many are arrogant.  Dr. King was never that way".

That got my attention.  Are most great public figures not so nice in private?  If so, what's the price on one's psyche to carry around a facade?  To have such incongruity and disparity between what one is projecting when it's at contradiction with one's inner feelings?  Is it virtually impossible to have the same private persona as public one because of undue pressure and expectation?

I'm still digesting this.  But I'm glad I can walk down the street in relative obscurity.

JACK LALANNE-R.I.P

January 24, 2011

Received word that Jack Lalanne passed away today at age 96.  Part of me has now passed, too.

As a pimply 13 year old, I remember stumbling along a book at the public library. It was entitled, "For Men Only" by Jack Lalanne. On the front jacket was a pic of a man almost 60 years old, coming out of a swimming pool, with coconut deltoids, horseshoe triceps, a barrel chest and a waistline you could wrap your one hand around. Talk about inspiration! I thought, "you really can turn back the biological clock".

I had known of Mr. Lalanne from his syndicated TV show, thinking of him as a gymnast,with that incredible V-shape from obliques-to-lats-to-shoulders, making him appear taller than his 5'6" frame, unaware of the super-human feats he had performed--1,023 push-ups in twenty minutes, swimming Alcatraz island while shackled. Joe Weider wrote of the voluminous amount of reps in his workouts. Arnold Schwarzenegger described how Jack would out-chin everyone at Muscle Beach in Venice.

Despite being decades his junior, I really thought he would outlive me.

What is more impressive than living 96 years, is that he was active up until the end. To quote an article from a doctor that appeared in the New York Times, "living to an old age isnt an attribute, living healthfully is".  You can't argue about his genetics, since his father succumbed to a heart attack around the age of fifty, he wrote in the aforementioned book.

Jack Lalanne-- a true pioneer--chiropractor, exercise inventor and physiologist, and one of the few celebrities who had congruity in his life. He set the example, so therefore he did not have to set the rules. He was 96 and left us too soon.

post-script---Jack was also one the first personal trainers, decades before it became a profession for the masses. Check out his attempt to personally "train" Uncle Fester (Jackie Coogan) on an hilarious episode of "The Adams Family"!

POST-SCRIPT 12-09-2011---I think of the most successful infomercial involving exercise machines or instructional courses--this would include TOTAL GYM, BOWFLEX, NORDITRAC, P90-X.  The inventors all owe a debt of gratitude to Jack Lalanne. His exercise show was the genesis of the fitness movement. And he started it when it was not only a virtual unknown, but taboo. There were all types of myths associated with exercise---getting muscle-bound, sterile.

In addition, Jack was a chiropractor. I can only wonder what it was like to have a practice in the 1930's. While the AMA's conspiracy to destroy chiropractic didn't come until the 1960's, they were still plotting, under the direction of Morris Fishbein, the editor of JAMA, who later testified under oath, he hadn't treated a single patient ever and failed basic anatomy courses in colleges.

So, with few exceptions, Jack was a one-man gang, a grassroots founder, taking on the medical establishment, putting himself out there, with not a whole lot of support, just the convictions of his beliefs and vision.

ANOTHER SALMONELLA SCARE (AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT)

Heard on the radio today about 150 lbs. of cilantro  being pulled off the shelves because of possible salmonella.

So, you're thinking, "I understand the inherent dangers with uncooked meat and eggs, but now, a leafy green is dangerous"?

Solution: all raw foods should be thoroughly washed, something that Gary Null has stressed on his radio show for years.

I've heard that in the armed forces, raw vegetables are washed in a solution of Clorox bleach (relax, it's a tbsp. of bleach per gallon of water, then thoroughly rinsed).  Alternatively, some use grapefruit seed extract (ten drops per gallon of water).  Be sure to soak for five minutes.

WHEAT DEXTRIN, YOU'RE NO PSYLLIUM

Remember the 1988 Vice Presidential debate, when Lloyd Bensten said to Dan Quayle, "you're no Jack Kennedy?"

Bought a product called ""Live Better Fiber Aid",at Pathmark.  I'm assuming this is a private label, made exclusively for them, given the name and location of the distributor.  Its sole ingredient is wheat dextrin, a newcomer on the block, touted for its non-gelling qualites when mixed with liquid.

My experience: none.  I know this is not a dinnertime subject.

Psyllium is superior.  As expained so succinctly by Gary Null on his syndicated radio show, the intestine moves constantly, like an inch worm.  This is called peristaltic motion.  Psyllium aids this function.  The product referenced above, does not appear to.

EAT ACCORDING TO YOUR GEOGRAPHY?

I listened in on a very informed discussion between two of the leaders at my synagogue..  It was a civilized debate on whether consumption of certain foods are appropriate choices, based upon your place of origin.  In this case, whether one of Ashkenazi origin should consume rice.  Rice is native to Asia, while barley and wheat are related to Europe. 

It raises an interesting point: Certainly, before modern freight made it possible to consume foods from around the globe, people ate what was indigenous to their immediate environment.  This is the same principle that forms the basis of a macrobiotic diet.

However, modern times have changed things a bit.  For example, oranges and bananas are among the most popular fruits.  Question: can you grow these fruits in New Jersey? Not to my knowledge.  They are of tropical origin and require that climate to prosper and grow. Same for kiwis, mangoes, pineapples. I don't think there will be a movement any time soon to question consumption of these phyto-nutrient and anti-oxidant rich delacacies.

In addition,  there are exceptions allowed, religiously, for health contingencies.  Scientfically, unpolished brown rice is one of the least allergenic of the whole grains.  And when I prepared it in a pressure cooker, which is the optimal way to seal in nutrients, I had a sustained energy*,not unlike when one exercises lightly, or meditates. All of those feel-good brain chemicals, serotonin, ephenephrine, dopamine, norepinephrine, kicked in.  For maintaining blood sugar levels, brown rice is king.

Summation: rational judgement, combined with a respect for the past, and the best of science, should guide us.

Good health,
@

* sustained energy--as opposed to a 15 minute coffee rush and crash (like dancing the hora to hava nagila, then immediately taking a nap).

NATIONAL PUBLIC GUM-CHEWING WEEK

It must be. I've been running into some people (and I use that term tongue-in-cheek) who seem to have a need to stand out, especially in public places.  Trust me, you do. Buses, trains, venues, food lines....

It compels me to repeat a verse that I read in either Ann Landers or Dear Abby's column:

The gum-chewing student and cud-chewing cow look quite alike
But they're different somehow
What's that difference?
I can see it all now
It's the intelligent look
On the face of the cow

FAST FOOD EATERIES... SWIMMING UPSTREAM OR DOWN?

As reported, this writer ventured to Checkers, to sample their fish sandwich.  They matched the price of their foe across the street, MacDonald's, 2@$3.
The fact they reacted instead of responding to a competitor's promo leaves clues.  They laid an egg, to be blunt (and Not fish eggs, a.k.a. caviar.)
Less fish, dull color, excess breading, soggy (meaning wasn't cooked at proper temperature to create a seal).
They can keep it.  Good service didn't make up for it.  My advice: stick to what you do well. Seafood ain't it. Nothing personal.

MACDONALD'S "FISH VALUE" MEAL....WHAT VALUE?

okay, just because i graduated 269 out of a high school class of 623, doesn't mean i'm that naive.

qualifier: i don't order soda or french fries. but for those who do....

CAVEAT EMPTOR

The value meal, ordered a la carte:

--2 fish sandwiches          3.00

--1 med. fry                          1.79

--1 med. drink                    1.69

total                                       6.48

but, if you order the "value" package...

drum roll......................$6.39

You can fool some of the people some of the time.............

next stop...the under-rated Checkers, to try their 2@$3.00 fish sandwich.

For an excellent fast-food blog, check out:

http://www.phoood.com/

CELL PHONE RADIATION STORY-NEW YORK TIMES 3-31

New York Times, page B9, personal tech section, "Cellphone Radiation May Alter Your Brain. Let's Talk".

In 2003, I was laughed at by my colleagues for citing some research of Scandinavian source, raising the possiblity of cell phones being a source of ionzing radiation, along with my use of a weird-looking headset called blue tube (not to be confused with blue tooth).

Rebuttal: when a new idea is presented, which goes against the status-quo, and challenges people's comfort:

• first, it is ridiculed
• then, it's debated
• eventually, it becomes the existing paradigm.

So, after years of ignoring the issue, a mainstream source like The Times is acknowledging this possibility.
I would like to clarify a few things in the article:

First, Dr. Mercola contends that blue tooth does not guard against radiation. Instead, he recommends the blue tube, which has a rubber tube, not unlike a physician's stethoscope, running between the phone and your ear.

Also, I would like to put out a caveat for those sleep in close proximity to their phone. I read an article somewhere (I apologize to the author for not having recall), who had a really clever idea: that is, put the phone in "vibrate" mode, on top of a china plate, on the floor. That type of sound will definitely wake you up.

health always,
@

HOW TO RUN YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND STAY HEALTHY AT THE SAME TIME

My prior post contained a short mention of WIBO.  Now, why learn how to be an entrepreneur if you don't have the energy to carry through?  Where am I going with this? Good question, glad you asked!

Across the street from my weekly class at St. Francis college, on Remsen St., Brooklyn, near Court Street, is what I call a "real health food store with a conscience". That is, to differentiate from the mega stores.

PERELANDRA is, my opinion, a stellar health food store.  After shopping in over 50 health food stores in the NJ/NY area over a period of.....on the other hand, I hereby invoke my 5th amendment privilege on how long I've been at this......

The way you judge whether a health food store serves the public is by their bulk bins. So, if I need an ounce of brown rice flour and don't want to splurge five or six bucks for 2lbs of product that I'll have to eventually throw out, buying in bulk solves that problem.  Perelandra's bulk section is unique in that it has its own refrigerated room. This guards against infestation.  I can tell you, based of the cost to run that room, coupled with the very reasonable prices they charge, it is not a money maker.

The peak of my visit was buying, from the bulk section, the DATE AND COCONUT ROLLS.  Were they good?  On a 1-10 scale----11.  I know the celebrity chefs tell the contestants on "The Next Food Network Star", that you can't describe "delicious" in writing, but I'll make an exception.  Most date rolls could be used in place on laying bricks, but these were soft and ambrosial. I t was love at first bite.

Check them out at http://www.perelandranatural.com/

Other HFSWC (health food stores with a conscience) to be reviewed soon.

NEWARK PUBLIC LIBRARY--GOOD RESOURCES, WHAT ABOUT PRIORITIES?

The NPL, built at the beginning of the twentieth century, is a stupendous building. It was constructed of materials that no builder would dare to use today, unless he wanted to quickly exceed budget.  Its square footage allows for stacks that rival other local libraries, even those in the fancy suburbs.  The business stack alone (section 158.) is formidable.

That being said, a major gripe---the computer terminals.  There are 35 of them, again, impressive.  The problem is  they are slower than erosion, making the internet of the 90's, by comparison, seem like the Amtrack Acela Express.  Reminds me of when Jackie Gleason reputedly had a phone in his limo in the 1950's.  The problem was, it took thirty minutes for a call (operator-assisted) to complete. There were no cell towers back then, that's why I refrained from saying he had a cell in his car.

Okay, the city has budget issues and cutbacks.                                                                     

So, why is there is a major undertaking on the facade of the building?  Cosmetic improvements at the expense of functionality?

Can someone please enlighten me?

post-script  4-3-11 received reply from reference librarian, , who rightfully corrected me and shared this info.  Construction in front is to install equipment for the disabled.  In addition, the NPL has received a grant from Verizon to convert to high-speed internet, should be ready to go by the fall.  -ac

For more info, go to http://www.npl.org/

WORKSHOP IN BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY ("WIBO")

Remember the movie, "Back To School", with Rodney Dangerfield?.....I'm doing my best impersonation. Trecking into the city Wednesday evenings.

WIBO,a non-profit started in 1966 in Harlem, has had 40,000 graduates pass thru its doors.
The skinny: I'm taking one of their courses, entitled, "How To Start And Run A Profitable Business".  I would describe it as an accelerated business course, about 3 semesters crammed into 16 weeks. I think it's a good thing; they took out all the filler that matriculated colleges are known for (read: $$), and get right to the meat of running a business.  The highlights:

• The instructors have clinical experience. No egg-heads teaching idealogies from textbooks
• Areas: concentrations in: marketing, break-even analysis.
• Support: personal coaching available, alumni associations, networking with financiers

My favorite part: the students! Got some really gifted individuals persuing their dreams. Very nuturing, no competition or petty jealousies.  Some of the dreams being persued: a gourmet grilled cheese truck, a restaurant, a made-to-order quilt vendor, a massage parlor serving a low-income community, an aspiring landlord supplying housing to college students, a fragrance maker.

My idea: confidential, at least for now. But I will share that I abandoned my intent to become a post-operative breast implant massage therapist ( although I still have conviction there is a need for this vital service).

Tuition: very reasonable: the max is $600, with a sliding scale, depending upon income.

Offered in various locations throughout the five boroughs in New York, weeknights.

I'm about halfway through; I'll keep you posted.

Check them out at http://www.wibo.org/

FISHY DIFFERENCE: WENDY'S VS. MACDONALDS

With the benefits of fish an old story (essential fatty acids), it's not surprising that both Wendy's and McD's are promoting their sea creations, albeit in completely different ways.

MacDonalds is offering two fish sandwiches for $3. Effective thru the end of April.

Wendy's is promoting their fish sandwich as elite ("hand-cut cod, panko crusted"--that's Janpanese bread crumbs, in case you were wondering). No mention of price (it's $4.29, for the record).

Yes, I've sampled both (yeah, I know, enough sodium to fill the Atlantic, bleached white flour roll). Condemn me, I'll have an extra serving of hiziki this week (that's seaweed, in case you're inquisitive).

The verdict: MacDonald's is priced at $1.50 because it is, in fact, a buck-fifty value, a small patty, I don't know the % of fish contained within, in the patty. It appears to be a fillet and not extruded nor blended.  Also, you can "deep six" the slice of processed cheese that's included.

The $4.29 Wendy's fillet of fish is worth $4.29, surprisingly good, it looks and tastes like Atlantic cod. I'd say it competes some of the better breaded fillets found in the frozen section.  And the sandwich is notably heavier than their competitiors. Is it worth more than MacD's? Affirmative. Is it worth 3x the price?...pretty close.

Summation: (get ready, this is going to be really paradigm-breaking).......

--you get what you pay for.

-@

CONSUMER REPORTS ANNUAL CAR ISSUE

Was anticipating the 2011 issue.  While J.D. Powers seems to zero-in on short term car reliability (initial and 3yr), CR has customer-complied data that goes back five or six years.

On the new cars, they issue predicted liability, which is based on history (see six year history of reliability per model, in the back pages).  So, they have some Honda models rated below their usual stellar positioning. Yet when you look up close at the data for the old Honda models, by component (engine cooling, electrical, suspension), except for a re-call, it's all red dots (reliable). I don't get it....

What I was really anticipating was a quantum leap in reliability history for the domestic models.  I have been doubtful for the longest time, but a new paradigm shift has convinced me otherwise.  You see, the old way was: the car maker would accept a bid from say, an alternator manufacturer. Then, when the part failed too much, they'd fire that supplier. 

The new way (according to an article): the mfr. and car maker are linked in to the same computer system, working in tandem to find the reason for the failure. In other words, a shift from antagonistic to horizontal cooperative.  This leads me to believe that the American car maker will bridge the gap between them and the Japanesese.

So, does the new issue of CR support that? In part.  Some of the Ford model's three year history are, in fact, really good.  Chrysler and Dodge, on the other hand, different day, same problems. 

Hyundai has really closed the gap.

Toyota: the fiaso mea culpa with the Camry seems to not have affected the ratings whatsoever.

High priced German cars: when you're selling a status, it doesn't seem to matter.

T.D. BANK--$30 FOR 120 BASIC CHECKS

Visited my former Commerce Bank today to re-order checks.  $24.67 + shipping and processing=$30.  The customer service rep, not much older than an embryo, rebutted, "did you think they were free?"  I was taken aback.  I never said, "order me free checks."  What I should have said was...


CAN YOU SPELL  V-I-S-T-A P-R-I-N-T?


After a brief bout of dementia, I ordered 150 checks from vistaprint.com for $4.55


I guess all of those regulations on ATM charges and the like, have lowered their bottom line,  therefore reducing executive bonuses.

SOCIAL MEDIA--CAUGHT IN TIME WARP

Payback for dissing my elders when I was younger---I am overwhelmed by the digital age.

Now attempting to catch up.  In my possession:

Social Media Bible

Bloggers Guide by Huffington Post

Wish me luck, I'm going to need it.

post-script: they should have a special remedial course for me:  TWITTER MINUS 101

DON'T READ THIS IF YOU'RE EATING

Has there ever been a survey for MOST REPULSIVE HABIT IN PUBLIC?

Here's my vote--(again, make sure you're not eating)--attempting to clear mucous in nose by inhaling.

If my employer is reading this, please construe this as a public service.

Is there anything worse?....sure.......the ones who keep repeating it.  Wonderful.

As a colleague put it so succinctly, "these people weren't raised up, they were dragged up.

Rehabilitation suggestion: remember that massive ettiquitte book by Latitia Baldridge (personal image consultant to John F. Kennedy?

just a test

just checking for contrast, so you can better read my posts going fwd.

OSCILLOCOCINUM--the best flu preventive

With the controversey surrounding the flu vaccine, and the mfr.'s apparent reluctance to disclose all the ingredients, perhaps it's time to return to traditional therapies.

In the nineteenth century, before the AMA was formed and issued its mandate ("we will annilhilate the competition"), classical homeopathy was the medicine of the day.  It works on the premise of "like cures like".  For example, coffee, diluted to .0000000000001%, will treat insomnia and jitters.  According to Gary Null http://www.garynull.com/ it was the British medical journal, The Lancet, that published 79 double blind studies, proving the effiacacy of homeopathy.

That being said, there is a product sold in health food stores, called OSSILLOCOCINUM, or "ossilo", for short, that people swear by. Must be taken at the very first flu-like symptom.

Cost: about $3 per dose.

AMC THEATRES--A NEW APPROACH--DINNER&MOVIE UNDER ONE ROOF

It's my understanding that a movie theatre must remit 90-100% of its ticket sales to the movie production company (?!) for roughly the first five weeks of a first-run showing. (How else could they pay for the talent?).

Someone at AMC came up with a clever idea.  Turned their theatre rooms into a night-club-like setting, with tables, wide-body chairs (like flying first-class). They raised the price to twenty dollars ($20), which includes a ten dollar ($10) food/beverage credit.  You can reserve on-line, then when you arrive, you swipe your CC and the tickets come flying out of the machine instantly, like in a milli-second, literally.

I highly endorse it. The menu is creative. You're watching a movie in a vastly improved environ.

Whats the bottom line?  Figure thirty-five dollars ($35), including tax and gratuity, for entree and one alcholic drink and, of course, the flick. For the year 2011, in-line.  May change the paradigm for more theatres.

p.s. movie  "How Do You Know"--I thought it was o.k., Amber thought it was cute.

http://www.movietickets.com/

BIC COMFORT 3 RAZOR---COMFORT COMPARED TO WHAT?

If I were a maker of styptic pencil, I'd beg for the customer list of this "switchblade" that masquerades as a throw-away razor.  What I construe from"throw away", is that one should trash it before actually using it.

If I walked down the street after shaving with this hachet, police would have probable cause to interrogate me.  What were the product team at BIC thinking? One word comes to mind.....UPSELL$$$

post-script--I just found out that styptic pencil contains aluminum......SWELL.

CELL PHONE SAFETY--BLUE TUBE HEADSET

While the alleged dangers of cell phone radiation continue to be debated in the court of public opinion, I am one who elect to err on the side of safety.

That being said, Blue Tube (not to be confused with "blue tooth") is a hands-free device that eliminates the majority of radiation by use of a tube similar to an M.D's stethoscope in place of metal.  Verify: if you hold a gauss-meter next to phone, you will see a marked reduction in the S.A.R on the gauge.

Note: they are fragile, must be handled with kid hands.  The way I see it: if I replace it 3x per year (cost: $40x3), the down side is I'm wasting ten bucks a month. If I don't use the Blue Tooth, then the downside is a possible serious health challenge.  As I said, better to err on the side of overly-cautious.

note: the final verdict on cell phone and radiation is still up in the air, this is not an indictment of cell phone manufacturers.

CACAPHONY DEFINED

Used to play drums, also was cursed (sometimes referred to as "blessed") with something called perfect pitch which means I can tell the instrument that is even a scintilla out-of-tune.

So, it was a real treat this morning, while doing my AM yoga session, in the middle of George Benson's "This Masquerade" (live version 2000), to hear a car horn alarm sounding off, completely obliterating the key and time signature of this classic jazz ballad.

Current statutes prohibit me from bashing in Range Rovers.  Why anyone would pay that kind of $ for such an historically under-reliable vehicle with poor re-sale value, demonstrates behavior that borders on the pathological.

DESIGNER JEANS--ORIGIN VS. 21ST CENTURY

In the beginning......blue jeans were work jeans.....1970's---wrangler, levi's, about fifteen bucks.
End of the decade, a perceptive designer named Calvin Klein, dissected a pair, re-designed, rounded out the rear, raised the crotch, giving rise to the dress jean.
The market became saturated--jordache, clouds, paris2000, jessie jeans, cacharel, sassoon, guess, gasoline, ad infinitum.  Price point: $25-40. Surreal for that time period.

Today---True Religion, 7 for Mankind...$175.....$250....$300.....??!!
Has the world lost its collective mind?....

The best pair of jeans I had was called Chi Pants...made in the USA. Why? Ever notice that stitch that runs down the inner thigh? Is that the optimum place to put it?   Of course not, it's there because it reduces manufacturing cost.  Chi Pants did not have that. Also had spandex in the crotch area, making them the most user-friendly jean ever.  They moved with you. You could wear them at a nite club and go to the gym and do squats or lunges without a change in wardrobe.

Did the public catch on? Of course not.

WBGO 88.3FM, 32 YEARS STRONG

Had the privilege to volunteer at this special and rare radio station last week, during pledge drive.  WBGO (http://www.wbgo.org/), is one of ten remaining jazz radio stations in the country.
This proves that the best music, jazz and classical (also few stations remaining), is not the best selling music.

All the program hosts that were at the station during my shift, came over to my table,  introduced themselves and were most gracious--Rhonda Hamilton, Brian Delp, Dan Karcher, Gary Walker, Doug Doyle.

WBGO--first class all the way,  I look forward to working with them again.

BEST FUTURE CAREER--AUDIOLOGIST OR E.N.T. SPECIALIST

Took the train into Brooklyn last nite for my entrepreneur class.  In two seperate instances, I could hear someone listening to music on their earbuds, placed inside their ears, from a distance of 20 feet away.

This astounds me.  From what I understand, if one can tolerate that volume without discomfort, then the permanent damage has commenced.  I mean, I listen at what I consider to be high volume, yet when I take the plugs or phones off my head, the sound is barely audible.

Education and scare tactics will prove to be futile, like they are with other vices (source: BUYOLOGY, by Martin Lindstrom).

My advice: start training for vocations listed above.

JOB APPLICATIONS

Tell me if you have similar experiences.  You fill out job apps, they ask you penetrating questions, attempt to analyze you psychologically, run background and credit checks.  Then, as a customer, you have experiences with the employees at these companies and wonder, "what filtering-out process did they use on these people?"

ex.  Motor Vehicles--rep talking to me with food in her mouth, no eye contact.

Dept. Of Labor--thug security firm (PPSC NY), rudeness to the max

Restaurant chain--being upgraded to value meal without your consent.  And this from a company whose online application takes 30 minutes to complete!

Access Self-Storage- in Kenilworth-nice at the beginning but........

Have rented from these ppl for 28 months@ $180....do the math.  Ran into some money troubles recently, caught up but not before they charged $40 late fee, would not budge.  My experience with Public Self Storage in Hillside was superior.  Stay away from Acess Self Storage in Kenilworth, 760 Blvd.  They talk sweetly when you're a prospective customer, then go from Jeklyl to Hyde.